I’ve been reflecting on some of the new frustrations in my work in furthering the cause for trauma survivors, and it occurs to me that I simply can’t get frustrated.
My most recent hobble is the fact that at least for now, Ryder Trauma Center will not be able to host my South Florida trauma survivor meetings. This news has come from one single person and I’m sure it won’t be the final word, whether that changes next week, or well after I fully convince Ryder to embrace the Trauma Survivors Network; whether THAT is a couple months from now or a couple years. I will not be defeated, I will not rest.
I write about my one true and amazing encounter with the Living God in my story, specifically in the article I wrote about my experience of being pinned in the wreckage of my first accident (and only trauma experience), that one of the things that truly gave me the strength to survive was a presence. Upon further reflection, I know now almost for certain that presence was the Lord Jesus Christ, because it certainly was manifested to me as a physical presence, and in the trinity as it’s spelled out in the pages of the new testament, Jesus is the only part of the trinity that has a physical body. That it was physical was certain.
As I write in the article, I knew it was of God and that it was the presence of Deity because beyond sensing the physical presence; and it was indeed physical, positioned in the driver side back seat, there emanated from this presence a flow of love the likes of which I had never come close to sensing before or after. The only way to explain it is that it was a pure love, completely unfettered by any human filter. It was God’s Love.
This got me thinking about where I am at right now, what my goals are for seeing drastic change in this monster known as surviving trauma injury, and my role. It’s clear now that my role is not my own, but one assigned. God knew before the foundation of the world that on November 20th 1982, a guy by the name of Grant Deckert would fall asleep at the wheel as he headed down the hill towards the Montgomery County line on Maryland Rt 27 at 12:15 am. He knew that my friend Gerry and I, having just left a mutual friend; driving home, would begin to climb that same hill at that same exact time. He knew that despite Gerry’s valiant efforts, the cars would collide in an offset head-on crash, pinning me horribly in the vehicle.
I believe in fate. I believe that things happen for a reason.
I am going through a season of intently studying the Bible, and a verse recently fell off the page and smacked me in the face. It was the words of Jesus, stated in Matthew 25:
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37"Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ [NIV]
If I ever did get a hankerin’ to don a tattoo, it would be these words.
God knows my heart, he knew me even before the universe stood.
Sometimes things happen for amazing reasons. That tragedy on Nov. 20th 1982 set me on a path, a very long path. I now know for certain what that path is.
Really what I have set before me is the possibility and in fact the duty to turn that tragedy into an enormous triumph. A triumph not for me, but for God.
One of the really odd things about that hour and a half I was pinned in the car was, not a single rescue worker consoled me or spoke to me or encouraged me or held my hand. It was almost as if they couldn’t bolt the chains to the bumper and get the two Hurst spreaders in place to pull the front end off of me quick enough, probably less to save me and more to dispense with me.
But God was with me.
He is with me now.
He has demonstrated to me in spades as I was pinned in that vehicle how very much he cares for people in those situations. I’m quite certain that it is in His heart that trauma survivors deserve an even shake; that trauma survivors deserve a shot at getting past it and moving on.
I understand now that it is appointed to me to do as Jesus asked me to do.
The amazing thing is, this for me is not so much the beginning of a huge amount of work and commitment the likes of which I’ve never taken on…
I’ve already turned my tragedy into triumph a couple times over.
What this really is; is an opportunity to turn that tragedy into triumph that I could have never imagined or thought possible.
Hi Steve,
I am the TSN Coordinator at the Univeristy of Maryland, Shock Trauma. I wanted to thank you for writing your journey so beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
Liz Wysocki